


Braver Than You Believe

by sherlocks_watson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Human Castiel, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Parents, Uncle Sam, Winnie-the-Pooh References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 21:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7773595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlocks_watson/pseuds/sherlocks_watson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Dean and Cas have gotten over their unresolved tension, and have since married and adopted a child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Braver Than You Believe

**Author's Note:**

> Just some angst in case you wanted to feel some feelings. Xx

Dean remembers the day he and Cas brought home their baby girl. When Cas had asked for a name, Dean immediately suggested: Charlie, and Cas understood without question.

“Look she even has the red hair,” Sam had pointed out one day. Charlie was asleep in her rocker, her thumb loosely hanging from her mouth. Sam had been sitting quietly near her crib when he pointed it out.

Cas appeared behind him and smiled, “Yeah, I think that was part of the reason we chose the name.” He noticed Sam swallow hard, and clapped him on the shoulder. The moment had been disturbed by a slamming door and Dean yelling his presence.

“Shhh!” Sam jumped up waving his arms, “You’ll wake her up.” Dean stopped and treaded through the bunker kitchen with more stealth.

“Too late,” Cas rounded the corner with a cooing baby tucked in his arms. Dean had set down some grocery bags and made his way to Cas. He kissed his cheek and offered his arms out for Charlie. Once she was safely passed between them, Dean bounced a little. He would never admit to making baby noises back to her, but Cas and Sam always told him otherwise.

Cas looked at what he had with loving eyes and a content smile.

“You really love him, huh.” It was more of a statement from Sam, than a question.

“Yea. Don’t know what I’d do without them.”

“It really is a weight off _my_ back not having to suffer watching the two of you make goo-goo eyes at each other.”

“Which you never fail to let us forget.”

“Bet your ass I won’t. I didn’t spend years of watching that for nothing.” They both laughed, “But seriously, it is nice to see you two so happy. Anyways, I’m gonna go ahead and gather up some books on Rugaru for another hunter.”

“Sounds good.” Sam kissed Charlie’s forehead before making his way through the door and to the library.

~~~

The three had never really given up hunting, but instead kept cases limited and not catastrophic or apocalyptic. Over the years, Sam, Dean, and Cas had learned to cycle out who babysat and who went on the case. It was usually Cas who stayed back, and on the rare occasion where all three of them were needed, Jodie Mills would drop by with the girls to keep Charlie entertained.

The older Charlie got, the harder it was for Dean to say goodbye, even if the case was only a weekend trip. For her fifth birthday, he got her a read-aloud book where he could record himself reading it and she could listen to it whenever she wanted. It was a Winnie-the-Pooh book that paired with a stuffed toy, and she was so thrilled to have it.

“It’s perfect, Dean.” Cas remembered saying before kissing his husband.

It now became routine for Dean, before he left, to remind Charlie of the book and that she could listen to it whenever she missed him. Then he would kiss her cheek and wave goodbye as he left with Sam.

~~~

A few months later another case appeared about twelve hours away.

“Just a vamps nest,” Sam informed them, Charlie perched on his knee reading the reports with him. “The trip there would take longer than to actually flush them all out.”

“I’m in,” Dean said before he sipped on his coffee. Charlie’s mouth turned down when she heard her dad say that he was leaving again. “Don’t be upset sweetie,” Dean stood and scooped her up, setting her on his hip, “It’s not that far away, I’ll be back before you know it. And you have that book.”

“I know, Daddy.” She still didn’t seem convinced. Charlie was a quiet kid, as everyone quickly learned. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to talk, but that she liked to keep to herself.

Dean kissed her head and set her down again, heading to his room to pack an overnight bag like Sam.

 

Just like his brother had said, the nest was fairly easy to clean up, save for one teenage boy who was in the process of turning. They both piled into the impala, and Dean gave Cas a call.

A small voice answered, “Daddy!”

He couldn’t help the smile that crept into his face, “Hey pumpkin! How are ya?”

“Good.”

“That’s good. Hey can you give the phone to other daddy for me?” Sam smiled cheesily at his brother which earned him a dramatic eye roll.

“Dean?”

“Cas! Hey, I just wanted to call and let you know that we’re on our way home and that we’ll be there before morning. I’ll tell you all about the case when I get back.”

“Ok sounds good, I’ll see you later then. Charlie and I say we love you.”

“Love you guys.” Sam waves frantically at himself, “Sam says he does too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

_Click._

~~~

Cas had risen before the sun the next morning, upset with his empty bed, but happy to know that Dean would be there instead of cold sheets that night. The brothers weren’t home yet, and Cas just assumed they got caught in some early morning commute traffic.

But then a couple hours passed and they still weren’t home. Charlie was still asleep, but wouldn’t be for much longer. He went ahead and called Dean just to check up, but he only got an answering machine. _That’s odd,_ Cas thought to himself, _he almost always picks up_. He called again only met with the same result. Then he waited and tried again. His calls became more frequent and his messages more frantic.

“Dean? It’s Cas again, please pick up I’m really worried.” Sam hadn’t been answering either. He called Jodie but she hadn’t heard anything from them. Cas felt like he wanted to puke but then Sam finally answered his phone. “Oh good, Sam. I’ve been really worried why haven-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Sam was crying.

“Cas, you need to get here right now. Drop Charlie off with Jodie right now. It’s Dean, Cas. We got hit, h-he- we were and then-” He couldn’t form a coherent thought, “Jesus, Cas please get here as fast as you can I’ll text you an address, please hurry.” There was a long silence. A _very_ long silence.

Cas’ throat was too dry to say anything, “O-ok.” He threw his phone down, not bothering to hang up. Running into Charlie’s room, he grabbed whatever shirts and pants he could find, stuffing them into her little Pooh luggage. She woke up through his commotion.

“Daddy, what are you doing?” He slowed as not to alarm her.

“You’re going to Aunt Jodie’s for the weekend, I have to meet daddy and Uncle Sam real quick, ok?” She nodded slowly, unsure of his response.

After dropping Charlie off, he quickly explained the situation to Jodie and apologized. She told him not to worry and to keep her updated.

Without speeding, he rushed to the hospital address that Sam had sent him. Tears in his eyes blurred his vision as he feared the worst. Sam didn’t sound optimistic. And since they had begun flying under the radar, they no longer knew people in high places who could bring Dean back if he had-

Cas refused to finish the thought. He ran through the doors and met Sam who had been anxiously bouncing his knee in a waiting room.

“Sam, oh my god. Tell me what happened, is he okay?”

“We were on our way back from the hunt.” Sam began retelling the incident in shaky breaths, “It was dark and we were just driving. There was a semi, the driver was drunk, he wasn’t slowing down-” Sam got choked up. Cas then realized the stiches visible on his temple, the scratches peppering his neck, and the bandage wrapped up to his elbow. “He ran the light, and hit- he hit the driver side of the car and hit Dean. Cas I don’t know if he’s gonna be okay. What are we going to do?”

Cas hadn’t realized he had moved to sit down. “What happened to him?”

“The nurse said some broken ribs, a punctured lung and a cracked skull.” Cas slammed his eyes shut at the thought of Dean lying in a pool of blood, not knowing if it was his or Sam’s or where it came from. “God, Cas. There was so much blood.”

“And the driver?”

“Sober. Sitting in the room across the hall, actually. I can’t bear to look the fucker.” Cas fumed and had to stop himself from marching over into the other room and taking out a couple of the trucker’s teeth. It’s the least he could do. “Dean’s in the OR right now. Doctor said that he should be done…” He checked the clock, “Actually pretty soon. Say a little prayer, Cas.” Sam went to lie down on the couch covering his face with his good arm.

About 45 minutes later the door to the waiting room opened and both men jumped to their feet.

The doctor looked around at the two of them, “I’m sorry, but your brother Dean did not respond to the operation.” Sam fell directly to his knees and sobbed, but Cas couldn’t react. This was all just a bad dream. Just some twisted part of his subconscious. “His body rejected the plates we used to fuse his skull, and the puncture wound in his lung was beyond repair. I’m so, sorry. We did everything we could.” Cas watched some tears form in the doctor’s eyes as well. This wasn’t easy for him either. “Our hospital offers a program for those who…”

Cas didn’t care to listen to the rest of what he had to say. This was his life now. A life without Dean Winchester. His husband, his best friend, a brother, a father. Just like that. If someone told him that Dean died, his first guess would’ve been an accident on a case. But never like this. Something so simple.

“I’ll give you a minute to process this.” Cas still had not moved from his spot, but Sam had moved to the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. His body shook with each sob. The words still bounced around Cas’ head and tears finally began to form. Slowly, and then with more consistency they fell from his cheeks. There was a hole in his chest as if someone had just punched through his heart.

~~~

They eventually went home, Cas and Sam. Dean had wanted to be buried in Lawrence, Kansas, and they respected his wish. The worst part for Cas wasn’t watching Sam spin into alcoholism, or the funeral that was held a few days later. It was telling his baby girl that dad wasn’t coming home this time.

He told her that “dad was in a car accident.” And that “he was hurt really bad.” She seemed to understand, but like Cas, her first reaction wasn’t tears, but was to pull her Pooh stuffed toy closer to her chest.

“I’m so so sorry sweetie.” Cas pulled her close and rested his cheek on top of her head. He could feel her small frame spasm as she began to cry.

 

They no longer went on cases because Sam would never leave his room. And when he did it was to get more liquor. He would always dismiss his niece and wave off Cas, no matter how many times he pleaded with the larger man to sober up, to give him some help.

Cas hardly ever went into their room, and found himself falling asleep at the desks in the library. One day, he was awoken by the sound of Dean’s voice. He thought it was a sick joke at first but it was very much his Dean that he heard. He followed the sound down the hall and came to Charlie’s door. He opened it and found his little girl with a Winnie-the-Pooh book open in her lap as she listened to her dad’s voice read to her.

He stepped in quietly and closed the door behind him. She didn’t acknowledge his presence as he sat with his legs folded and pulled her into his lap.

Together they listened to his voice. Cas zoned out, not even sure what the story was about anymore or what the context of it was.

“‘Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think…’” In that moment Cas swore he wasn’t just reading from the book, but talking directly to them. He stopped breathing for a moment, but was brought back to reality when Charlie leaned her small body into his chest.

He knew through this he had to be strong for her, and then maybe one day for Sam too.

~~~

Not a day goes by that Cas doesn’t pick up that book and listen through the entirety of it. After about six months of listening to the recording, he could quote the whole thing. He catches Sam with it all the time, and he's accepted that it's really not Charlie’s book anymore. The batteries have been changed at least eight times. And on days like their anniversary, or his birthday, Cas would listen to it all day, tearing up at the end as he closes it and opens it to hear his voice again.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr- astafandomtrash, I take suggestions for oneshots!


End file.
